The Spirituality of Men

Dear family, friends and associates, (especially those within my religious community),

I am writing this to use my voice to hopefully create a shift in the way that the people in my life communicate around me and my family. 

There is a phrase/teaching circulating in the LDS church that troubles me and I believe is causing unintentional harm. I heard it again today and as I looked down the pew at my sons I decided it was time to speak up.

Frequently, I have heard it said that women are naturally or instinctively more spiritual than men. I have heard this idea taught at times with the intent to empower women, other times apologetically and at some times I have heard it used manipulatively, both by men and women. 

I believe that it is false. I believe that it is damaging to both men and women, girls and boys. I believe that it is terribly sexist. 

I know of no teaching of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ where He said that women are more spiritual than men. I believe that this thought is a creation of mankind and culture. Yes, it might be representative of an individual’s experience, but that makes it their opinion, not fact. It is my opinion that as we perpetuate this teaching within our religious community, it becomes self-fulfilling. All people are inclined to internalize what they are consistently told about themselves, especially when it comes from people in positions of trust.

To make this personal, please stop telling my sons that they are not as good as your daughters. Stop. It is not true. Stop. It hurts them in ways I do not believe you understand or intend. Stop. If you believe it, because of your experiences or teachers have taught you that it is true then I respect your religion, but it is not my religion and I do not believe it is LDS doctrine. So please stop teaching it as if it is canonized scripture. The little disclaimer, “It is my personal opinion…” at the beginning of your comments creates appropriate ownership and accountability for your truth. While I welcome the adult discussion on differing opinions and religions, please stop teaching it to my children. 

It is my opinion that the experiences I have had with God show me that He does not think His daughters are naturally closer to Him than His sons. I believe He is no respecter of persons in this regard. Males are not spiritually better than females, and females are not spiritually better than males. Please stop the sexism. 

If I am wrong and this is in fact a tenet of LDS gospel and not the cultural indoctrination and manifestation that I think it is, then please feel free to correct me. That is something I would certainly want to know. If it is your opinion, then you already know my feelings on that. Regardless, stop saying it to my children.

Sincerely,

A mama bear