Dear
family, friends and associates, (especially those within my religious
community),
I am writing this
to use my voice to hopefully create a shift in the way that the people in my
life communicate around me and my family.
There is a
phrase/teaching circulating in the LDS church that troubles me and I believe is
causing unintentional harm. I heard it again today and as I looked down the pew
at my sons I decided it was time to speak up.
Frequently, I have
heard it said that women are naturally or instinctively more spiritual than
men. I have heard this idea taught at times with the intent to empower women,
other times apologetically and at some times I have heard it used
manipulatively, both by men and women.
I believe that it
is false. I believe that it is damaging to both men and women, girls and boys.
I believe that it is terribly sexist.
I know of no
teaching of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ where He said that women are more
spiritual than men. I believe that this thought is a creation of mankind and
culture. Yes, it might be representative of an individual’s experience, but
that makes it their opinion, not fact. It is my opinion that as we perpetuate
this teaching within our religious community, it becomes self-fulfilling. All
people are inclined to internalize what they are consistently told about
themselves, especially
when it comes from people in positions of trust.
To make this personal, please stop telling my sons that they are not as
good as your daughters.
Stop. It is not true. Stop. It hurts them in ways I do not believe you
understand or intend. Stop. If you believe it, because of your experiences or
teachers have taught you that it is true then I respect your religion, but it
is not my religion and I do not believe it is LDS doctrine. So please stop
teaching it as if it is canonized scripture. The little disclaimer, “It is my
personal opinion…” at the beginning of your comments creates appropriate
ownership and accountability for your truth. While
I welcome the adult discussion on differing opinions and religions, please stop
teaching it to my children.
It is my opinion that the experiences I have had with God
show me that He does not think His daughters are naturally closer to Him than
His sons. I believe He is no respecter of persons in this regard. Males are not
spiritually better than females, and females are not spiritually better than
males.
Please stop the sexism.
If I am wrong and this is in fact a tenet of LDS gospel and
not the cultural indoctrination and manifestation that I think it is, then
please feel free to correct me. That is something I would certainly want to
know. If it is your opinion, then you already know my feelings on that.
Regardless, stop saying it to my children.
Sincerely,
A mama bear
